Some of you may have heard a Ted talk given by a Nigerian author by the name of Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche.  Growing up in Eastern Nigeria, she spoke of how she had only the opportunity to read British and American children’s books.  As she became older and began to write, she wrote stories similar to what she had always read.  Her characters were white and blue eyed, they played in snow, they ate apples, and talked about the weather.  This despite the fact that Adiche had never seen snow, ate mangos instead of apples, and really didn’t talk about the weather since it did not change very much.  She indicated this made her feel vulnerable in the face of a story because it had to be about things with which she could not identify. [Read more…]

The time before I started at NCC was one of the more challenging times for me emotionally.  The pandemic was raging around me, and each day I feared for Kathy as she entered the ICU to treat her patients.  I feared for my parents each day, fearing they would  would succumb to the virus if they contracted it due to their age and poor health.  At her yearly mammogram, Kathy’s results were abnormal, and after seeing my mother’s battle with breast cancer I was overwhelmed with worry.  Pax was having a hard time adjusting to the constant changes in how school was being conducted. [Read more…]

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, our house had not been well-maintained when we moved in.  And this was manifest not only on the interior of the house, but in the plant life which surrounds it as well.  It appears the previous owners planted several trees.  And these trees were surrounded by supports to strengthen them as the matured.  But the owners never removed these supports, and the trees eventually started to grow around them.  When I saw this the first time, I worried these trees would not last.  That growing around these supports had weakened them such that they would easily fall in a strong wind or snap under the weight of an ice storm. [Read more…]

Making decisions has always been hard for me.  Especially when faced with a big decision, I tend to agonize over what I will do for weeks and months, analyzing ever possible scenario and outcome.  I want a sense of certainty that I am making the right decision, that I won’t come to regret whichever path I choose.  During this time of deliberation, I often take small steps toward choosing a path without making a final commitment, a way to put off the finality of a decision but still allowing me to believe I am making progress.  I seek the counsel of everyone I trust, probably because I don’t always trust myself to make the right decision. [Read more…]

When Kathy and I purchased our current home, I was hesitant.  We both gravitated to the location, and I loved the fact that I could keep a horse there.  But the people we bought our house from did not make house maintenance a priority.  And it was obvious.  Pulling up the drive to the house on our first visit, there were weeds in the landscaping as tall as my waist.  The paint on the deck which surrounds the back of the house was completely peeling off.  The windows looked like they never been washed.  The finish on the wood floor was flaking off.  And it was dirty – very dirty.  And if you know anything about me, you know that I need to keep things immaculate. [Read more…]

Not knowing what happens next is a struggle for me.  Because I have always been a planner, I like knowing what may happen in the next days, months, and years.  Growing up and seeing super hero cartoons, I never wanted to be the one who could bend steel or throw cars.  While I liked Batman’s gear, his talents did not seem all that practical for my life.  What I really wanted to do was to be able to tell the future.  If I just knew what was going to happen, I thought a lot of my anxiety would be reduced.  There would be no need to fear what was going to happen next because I would know it was coming and could prepare for it. [Read more…]

A little while back, Kathy and I decided to take a night away.  Pax stayed with my mom, and we stayed at a hotel.  We went out to dinner and watched a movie.  And I looked forward to a very restful night of sleep.  But around 11:30, I was awakened from my slumber by a loud banging.  When I looked out the peephole of my door, I could see a group of about 10 guys standing outside the room.  They were talking, but I could not decipher what they were saying.  What I did see was that they were taking turns trying to kick down the door of the room located next to ours. [Read more…]

As most of you know, I grew up in a very fundamentalist church.  Even from a young age, there were things said from the pulpit which did not fit with how I viewed God.  I remember hearing sermons which spoke against interracial dating, sermons which attacked the LGBTQ community, sermons which basically said everyone who didn’t believe as we did was bound for hell.  And I knew in hearing those things that the manner in which these sermons degraded people who were simply different was inconsistent with the ministry of Jesus.  That the love which was central to the way I understood what Jesus taught was being obscured. [Read more…]

While it may not be good form to admit as a minister, I don’t like having houseguests.  I’m not referring to having people over for dinner or spending an evening with someone.  But the joy of having company significantly decreases when it comes to overnight guests.  I’ve always admired those people who are able to do things like take in a foreign exchange student.  To me, having a stranger stay in my house for an extended period of time sounds like torture. [Read more…]

Whenever there is a birthday in our family, we get together for a meal.  I was hoping some of this would diminish as we got older.  Going out to eat or cooking every time my parents, my sister, her children, her husband, me, Kathy, or Pax got another year older started to feel like overkill.  And there are those inevitable annoyances when you gather with your family.  For one thing, there is a certain member of my family who is not a very good cook.  Kathy and I still talk about some of the dishes that have been served at these meals – pies made with beans or salads of carrots and pineapple.  And then there is the family member that chews with his mouth open very loudly – so much so that I always try to sit a few seats away from him to keep the noise down.  The table conversation is sometimes painful as well.  Certain members of my family have very different political views than I have.  Rather than engaging in heated political arguments, I just bite my tongue and roll my eyes. [Read more…]